“So, before we get any further into it, I must ask…are you both Satanists?” The dark-haired priest asked earnestly, steepling his fingers. The young man and woman looked awkwardly at each other.
“Well, I have been brought up in the dark faith, but Darren, is, umm…” The young woman said anxiously. The man, Darren, stepped up to finish the sentence.
“I’m a Baptist.” He blurted, almost guiltily. The priest frowned. This sadly wasn’t an uncommon situation when it came to marriage petitions from some of the congregation.
“Strictly speaking, I’m not allowed to officiate over such a union.” This edict visibly deflated the young couple. He sighed and continued. “And whilst I may personally agree with such doctrine, our Lord of Darkness has, umm, been changing his views a little of late.” The following silence held the pressure and tension of a particularly devout mexican stand-off.
“We could make for a way to allow such an…unorthodox arrangement.” Breaths were released simultaneously. The priest had a passing notion to hold such silence longer next time. Oxygen deprivation can be such a practical social tool…
“All we would require is for your offspring to be committed to us, as a vessel.” The youngsters exchanged excited-but-nervous looks.
“We can marry if we give you our firstborn?”
“Oh, only spiritually and soulfully. And not just the firstborn.” They exchanged the kind of looks done so when buying a car, or renovating a kitchen: socially aware looks.
“You don’t have to agree now. Just, think about it, and drink a lot beforehand. Bloodletting can be such a chore…”
Thoughts In The Key Of N 